How Do You Know You are Engaging in Substance Abuse? Managing a habit can be one of the most difficult things anyone could ever undergo.
Having managed it for years, I lost and got back the power over my life, my mind, and my body after a comparatively long time period of tussle, verbosity, and depression. The world might as well have crashed onto itself and it would've weighed exactly the same to me.
When I began using I felt like all of my fears were rendered inactive.
The negative feelings and thoughts that I felt like almost killed me became one with the false alarm of happiness, dragging me even further to the depression hole and endless tunnels.
The period before I enrolled in a remedial program remains one of the toughest periods of my addiction. Not being capable to accept I had an issue was what took charge of my daily and made me dig like a madman in my own mind searching for exemptions and arguments to justify my attitude, till I ultimately recognised it had carried away all things I worried about, every person I ever adored and every dream I ever had.
These 6 Signs Woke Me Up To Reality That I Went Too Far With My Addiction And That I Had To Make It Up
Life is by all accounts just fate and despair
Regardless of the quantity of the substance I took, my addiction made me feel disillusioned about life in general. The stressful times made me stuck, it was like holding my body back and telling me to stay on the wrong path. Everything appeared to be an acts of futility and the feeling of disappointment I began feeling must be contrasted and the mistake I knew I was bringing about to my friends and family. Each and every thing looked to be a lost cause and the sense of remorse I commenced undergoing could simply be equated with the dissatisfaction I knew I was making to my loved ones. I felt like everything was trying refresh my memory on my so many errors and the grief I was causing everyone. The frustration and guilt were like a loop, went on and on, giving me an excuse to go back to using the reason of the frustration, I did not realize that I was feeding the loop. Apparently, my continuous usage of the substance made me feel like the deadly and aimless mission I was on has reached the breaking point. At that point, all the sadness and feeling of failure were such a heavy load, that my habit of using to get rid of the feeling was just dragging me further into it.
Everything you had in life walked and then run away from you
Some of the people I had close to me during my time as a stoner were present to support me till the very end, and for this, I'm so grateful. Some others couldn't take it any longer and left for good since they could just not see how my addiction functioned. Nevertheless, because of how profound into my issues and issues I was, I began to push away even the ones that needed to stick around to receive me in return. I turned out to be so visually impaired with simply getting the following hit, that I let it eclipse everything else. I skipped work because I just could not and would not go. I lost good opportunities for dates and meetings with friends and family since I could not handle being sober for a long duration of time. Life contracted itself to only a certain something, and that extremely one thing was what killed the lights throughout my life to the point where I lost all that I once thought about.
You cannot control your own life anymore
Self control was never my most grounded suit. I had repeatedly lied to myself that I would quit drugs every time I took drugs. I always wanted to take more of the substance during such times as a sign of my quitting the drug use. Sorrow and tension assumed control and I could no longer face anybody or look at individuals without flinching without feeling lament. I locked myself in my apartment, leaving my work and everything I should have done outside. The bills were heaping, I could only stared at them. My phone started to ring all the time when people started to realize that I might have problems going on, but I denied, I didn't know what was going on in my mind, it is like something have taken over my mind, body, and soul. I didn't even have control over the place, the amount or the time I engaged in substance abuse.
You use lies as shields for your problems
This was probably the thing that made things more severe than what they could've been. My dread of being judged or thrown out made me lie so regularly that at last, it was practically difficult to stay aware of the considerable number of things I had made up just to have the capacity to fulfil my compulsion. I was obtaining cash from loved ones, failing to be ready to give it back. Addiction was destroying my life in numerous ways, monetarily, emotionally and biologically. I was mistreating my body. I halted eating, ceased taking good care of myself, began losing weight at a disturbing rate; every person recognised I was having issues and they all desired to assist, but deceiving them and myself simply created a barrier between them and me. The barrier around me got tougher as the lies kept adding up. I told myself various tales, debates and explanations to maintain utilizing that I think could've written a book on bad justifications to misuse drugs.
You pursue getting intoxicated so as to prevent withdrawal
Withdrawal is one of the most unpleasant experiences a user can have. The worries and all those mixed feelings that make everything look like hell is something that I wanted to avoid by all possible means. I was utilizing to never lose that high feeling since I realized what came after and I couldn't manage it. It's such a powerful and overwhelming situation that you feel like the only way out of it is by using more and more often. What's more, because of the way that the more I utilized the more resilience I assembled, it turned out to be more regrettable inside time.
Nothing else is of importance
After all the exemptions were said. I lost my bonds with everyone I cared about. All my worries became confirmed and I no longer sympathized with anything else apart from being high. I pushed everybody out of my life and just a couple sat tight outside for the chance to emerge where they could return and help me. I seriously cared about nothing else other than being high, this addiction almost killed me. I lost my job, my phone stopped ringing, even my family started to take steps back and leave me.
At this juncture, words from the ones I adored the most began to sink inside my head. Just when it all looked over to me, and I felt I was at my lowest point ever, it became clear to me that I needed assistance; the good thing was I had so many people who were willing to assist me to get over that grim phase.
The bad experience of addiction was something I would never want to get into again, it was probably as worse for my family and friends beside me, we buried the history deep down. I think things could've been somehow simpler on every person if we all understood a bit more concerning what dependence implies not only to the dependent but as well to the family. The period when my situation looked gloomy, the people close to me observed all these signs I was missing.
I was saved by my loving and patient family and friends.
I believed all the things were lost but at last, I went through a recuperation procedure that opened my eyes to a fresh jovial healthy life, where I haven't disregarded my past but I pardoned myself for what I did and requested for forgiveness without dishonour. It was difficult, I won't deceive, but I'm very jovial that I wasn't alone and that I still have individuals who trusted in me till I was back to normal.
Addictions can be managed better when these signs are identified and informing the individual involved that you understand their predicament regardless of how disillusioned the situation might be could provide hope in the recovery process.